Sepia week.
I've been raiding seriously for 2 and a half years. In that time I've left 4 guilds that didn't suit my personality or my level of dedication, been kicked out of one for not being good enough, and had 4 disband within 1-3 months of my arrival.
Last night my guild's raid leader and main tank resigned which I'm certain will raise my count of disbanded guilds to 5. Though the guild is still intact, the remaining leadership is not especially strong. The guild leader has told me before that he's been thinking of resigning and passing leadership to the raid leader, and though he does sincerely care about the guild he lacks the confidence to take charge, even though he does just fine when he does. My attempts to try and reassure him he's doing fine have not yielded much success. The guild's one officer is a special kind of despisable, managing to be passive aggressive, self-righteous, and irresponsible all at once. A real winner of a human being.
To make matters worse, the guild leader and the officer aren't talking to one another. Some bad blood many months ago where the officer stabbed the glead in the back over some girl. Up until last night, they had each other muted on vent.
In the raid leader's resignation he explained that he'd been thinking of quitting for the past 2.5 months. This, combined with the loss of two core officers in December, and the guild leader's fading interest in the game further reinforce that all the disbanding guilds I've joined were already in decline when I was recruited.
10 guilds in 2.5 years. That's too much. And while I'm far from being ready to quit the game, I can't help but think I'm never going to find a place where I can play the game the way that I want to. I need a certain quality of progression (at least 300 US, top 150 preferred) a certain type of player atmosphere (make your own goddamn sandwich you fucking sexist nerds), a 25-man roster, and raid times no earlier than 9pm. Most recently, I've decided I don't want to raid more than 3 days a week, lowering the amount of potential places I can go to to about 3 guilds, 1 of which doesn't accept women raiders.
With another guild looking doomed to expire, I have nowhere to go. And even if I did, I'm cursed as it is. Kinaesthesia reminds me again and again that I'd make an excellent guild leader, but you don't just find 24 quality raiders out of nowhere. The amount of time I'd have to spend just trying to get a quality 10-man roster together would be enormous, and likely unfruitful. Add to that the time required to write strats and put together website, and the idea becomes more and more inaccessible.
My only hope right now is that the members of this guild won't scatter by the end of the week, but having been in 4 disbanded guilds, my experience doesn't give me much hope. Most people just want to raid, and if the ability to raid disappears, so do the people. The glead and officer have taken the stance right now that they're going to talk the raid leader into coming back... despite serious health issues being his reason for leaving. Nothing about this is ideal.
So once again... Here I am, wondering if I can truly keep playing and enjoying this game when I can't even find a place to call home.
